


Falling In || Lashton AU {Side of Malum}

by woefully_wanderlust



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 07:11:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2182626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woefully_wanderlust/pseuds/woefully_wanderlust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton Irwin is the new sad soul with some bad habits, a rough past and a love for music and old movies. Luke Hemmings is the pop-punk musician with some talent and a job at a DVD shop. [WARNING: contains bullying, depression, self-harm, anorexia, bulimia, and strong language.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**More in depth description -**

Ashton Irwin is eighteen and already been through hell and back. His parents separated when he was four and Ash got stuck with his father, Noah Hendrickson. The first couple months past and the divorce took its toll, drinking became a habit, abuse became orderly and fighting was only natural. Throughout the years he started blaming himself for the abuse and bullying he received which lead him to further complications. He’s struggled with depression, bulimia and anorexia for two years with music and movies as his strong hold; the thin layer of glue holding him together.

Luke Hemmings is just a seventeen year old pop-punk boy with a lip ring and two best mates, Michael Clifford and Calum Hood. Together the three of them make up their band, 5 Seconds of Summer; they post videos on their YouTube channel of them covering their favorite songs hoping to be the next big thing but until then Luke works at the local DVD shop, Marvin’s Movies, Music and More.

With a fresh start comes a new town, a new school and new people. Now as Ashton relocates to the western suburbs of Sydney he’s scared shitless. Not knowing anybody he finds relaxation in visiting Marvin’s on a daily basis. Luke notices the frequent visitor from school but keeps to himself until they get an assignment in class. The students are told to pick a partner, knowing them or not, to work with. Michael and Calum pair up which leaves Luke to fend for himself; then he notices the shy, long, shaggy haired dirty blonde boy sitting in the back.

[WARNING: contains bullying, depression, self-harm, anorexia, bulimia, and strong language.]

 

**Well hello beautiful darling, my name is Ashley. I see you clicked on my new Lashton AU, how nice of you. It's your typical high school au where two people fall in love but person A, Ashton, is broken and person B, Luke, tries to fix them. This is just my version of it. This is my very first Lashton fanfic in general so I apologize in advance for the cheesiness and lack of originality. I hope you don't mind that I'm also throwing Malum in, I mean c' mon you know you love it. That's all I have to say for now, look out for chapter one :) Much love xxxAshley**


	2. Stay Away.

**_It's my best at your heart_ **   
**The glass that rips your word apart**   
**Is it the guilt that keeps you up at night when you're in bed?**   
**Well you can sleep sound honey, I'll write you a check**   
  
**Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay away from me**   
**Stay, stay, stay, stay away**

**_-Stay Away by Paramore_ **

_Friday, January 24, 2014_

_Ashton’s POV:_

Thunder rumbles and lightning crackles outside as I awaken to Satans noise from hell, also known as my alarm. God damn, it can’t be time already I just fell asleep. I lift my head slightly just enough to catch a glimpse of the bright red numbers shown on the clock, 8:02 am. I let out a loud groan and drop my head back onto the pillow.

How is it I fall asleep at six and awake at eight? That’s only two hours of sleep. I guess it’s better than nothing right? I shrug it off and sit up glancing around the floor full of clothes. I go for my favorite pair of skinny jeans, the ones with the two holes in the knees, sliding them up my thin lanky legs, I pull on my Guns n’ Roses tee and cover up with a plain black zip-up hoodie. I slip on my old tie worn all black converse, grab my phone slipping it into my pocket and head to the bathroom.

I flick on the light and take a look at myself in the mirror. I ruffle my hair and run my fingers through my fringe. Not satisfied with my effortless work I grab my beanie from the counter calling it quits. I brush my teeth quickly and look at my phone, 8:13. I’m doing good, got seventeen minutes till the cab will be here to take me away from this hell hole. Before heading downstairs I take a final look in the mirror and if I do say so myself I look damn fine, at least for somebody who got a minimal of two hours of sleep.

I can hear the commentary of a soccer game coming from the living room. “Good morn-“ I cut myself off as I see my dead asleep father, Noah sitting on the couch with his head thrown back. God what a mess. There’s a strong aroma of liquor, empty beer bottles all over the table and floor. I decide to do him a favor and grab a few bottles. I throw them in the recycling bag and turn around before being stopped dead in my tracks.

“What the hell are you doing?” Noah slurs out looking back, not even moved from his spot.

“I was just, uh, cleaning up a bit before I left.” I mumble keeping my head to the floor staring at my feet knowing what’s to come. “Do you a favor.”

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” I let out a sigh and get ready to respond but again, he stops me. “Oh that’s right, you’re going to your mothers cause you’re little ass is too scared to stay with me.”

“I’m not scared.” I say looking at him straight in his eyes. “You’re fucking scared. You’re the one who brought this all up. You’re the one who was scared of me. Scared of what I could do and where you might end up. You know damn well what you’ve done and you’re too scared to admit up to it.”

“Well you can have fun getting to the airport ‘cause now you’re not getting the money for a cab.” He snickers to himself folding his arms up to his chest.

“You’re such a dumbass.” I murmur under my breath as I get ready to turn back up the stairs before receiving an unexpected hit to the side. Before I know it Noah had my pinned up against the wall.

“Do you really want a replay of last night?” He annunciates to me only about three inches from my face. I say nothing and luckily save myself. “Good choice.” He releases me and takes his seat back on the sofa acting as though nothing has happened.

I head back upstairs and walk into my room for the last time. I finish packing the last of my bags and grab them; I only have two, packed to the rim but that’s besides the fact. I stand in the door way and look at the empty room that is, was, mine. The empty bed in front of the small square window with a side table beside it; the dresser is squeezed in between the door and closet.

Isn’t it amazing to think that these for walls alone hold my deepest darkest secrets, that they know things about me nobody else does, they’ve seen things only god himself can see. It’s mind blowing really; the fact that the walls are the ones who were there when nobody else was.

My thoughts are interrupted as a car horn sounds from the drive way. Finally, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for; after years and years of waiting it’s finally here. I carry my bags down the stairs and open the door.

“Have a good life, see you never.” I say stepping out still hidden from the sprinkling rain. “Hopefully.” I say under my breathe shutting the door behind me running down the walk to the black cab. I open the door and throw my bags to the far side and hop in.

“Where to?” The taxi driver asks looking back to me?

“Adelaide Airport please.” I stutter speaking up so he can hear me over the radio. I get no response as he drives out and onto the highway. He has the radio playing on some local talk show, we both keep to ourselves the drive to the airport.

It’s only about fifteen minutes before the big bright airport lights come into view and we pull up into the terminal. I fish out a twenty and hand it up already knowing the exact price from past experience. I nod my head in thanks and snatch by bags heading out of the car walking in through the sliding doors.

***

After I finish going through all the security and luggage deals I find my way to the gate and take a seat. I sit and wait looking around at all the little kids running around giggling with excitement, and ready to leave for the holiday awaiting them. I rummage through my carry on backpack and fish out my phone, there’s two unread messages, both from my mother.

 **_Life giver:_ ** _Hello darling, excited to see you today :)_

 **_Life giver:_ ** _If you can text me when you land love. Harry and Lauren are excited to see_

_and meet in person :) Have a safe flight._

I read them and smile to myself. Lauren and Harry are my two younger siblings, Lauren is 13 and Harry is 10. We’ve face timed and video chatted before so it should be exciting meeting them in person.

 **_Ashton:_ ** _Waiting to board now, shouldn’t be long. Can’t wait to finally see you all, so excited :b_

It sends as I sit back in the chair. I’m not quite sure excited is the right word to describe the way I’m feeling; I’d say more nervous and even that is an understatement. I mean for god sake I’m going to a town where I know nobody, and nobody knows anything about me. Even my mother doesn’t know about my struggles, the depression, the eating disorder, the bullying, everything, they’re clueless. She doesn’t even know I like boys for god’s sake.

***

It’s not long before the ladies voice rings from the overhead speakers. “Attention all passengers on flight 89B to Sydney, we are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Thank you.”

I watch as the parents and families make their way to the boarding station, one by one entering onto the aircraft. It’s not long before she makes the next call. “All passengers on flight 89B to Sydney may now board. I repeat flight 89B to Sydney is now boarding all passengers. Please have all boarding passes and identification ready. Thank you.”

I rise, trailing my bags behind me making it up to the check in. I hand her the items needed as she does her job checking them. “Enjoy the flight sir.” She says softly handing the papers back.

I walk through the jet way and onto the plane greeted by the hostess. I manage to find my seat and stow away my bags taking a seat. I’m the nearest to the window and look out at the now hazy air. The rain has stopped, thank god, leaving behind a thick fog. Yep that’s your typical Adelaide summer weather. I wait patiently for somebody to take the seats next to me. A fairly tan, long dark haired girl, probably the same age as I, takes the seat ahead of me. I play it cool acting as though I’m not fazed by her beauty, I shouldn’t as I am gay, I grab my phone out of my pocket checking to see if I had gotten any reply from my mother, two unread messages from _‘Life giver’._

 **_Life giver:_ ** _Sounds great babe, the kiddos are just off to school_

 **_Life giver:_ ** _They probably won’t be able to focus knowing their big brother is coming_

_home. Lol!_

I let out a quite giggle to myself and start replying.

 **_Ashton:_ ** _Ha ha they better! Just sat down, waiting to take off, I’ll make sure to call you as_

_soon as I land :)_

It signals it sends but making the _swoosh_ noise just as the above speaker booms with the captain’s voice. “Welcome onboard Flight 89B, ladies and gentlemen. We are expected to be in the air in approximately seven minutes time. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones. Smoking is prohibited for the duration of the flight. Thank you for choosing [National Jet Systems](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Jet_Systems). Enjoy your flight.” He finishes and the overhead clicks off. I slide to power off my mobile and buckle up resting my head back waiting, looking out the window.

After a couple minutes he goes through and explains the safety shit and then makes the announcement that we’ll be taking off. A couple minutes pass and the next thing you know we’re lifted up into the air. As the wheels lift from the ground below us the only thing audible are the squeals from the little children experiencing this for the first time.

The captain makes the announcement that we may turn on and use all electronics so my first instinct is powering up my phone. It takes a moment and shows a message from my mum.

I close the music tab and check if my mum has replied. Sure enough she has.

 **_Life Giver:_ ** _Can’t wait!Love you xxx_

I read it and a smile spreads across my face as my cheeks, probably, turn a nice shade of red. God damn it, why do I always smile at these kinds of things. I always smile at little cheesy, meaningless texts.

I don’t reply as I pull my earbuds out of my pocket and plug them into the phone. I select my playlist titled, _Anytime Anywhere,_ as Take It Back by Ed Sheeran begins playing. I rest my head against the window and stare out the window at the clouds below. To be quite honest I probably look very dramatic, like I’m in some cheesy romance where someone’s just left the _love of their life_ to chase their dreams only to go back because they miss them too much. How lame. I’d never do that, which honestly and truly who would. I would never let somebody hold me back from chasing my dreams. Yeah I believe in love but not enough that I would let my dreams go for them.

***

“Good afternoon folks, this is your captain John speaking. We have begun our decent into Sydney; the current weather is sunny at a comfortable 26 degrees. We will be landing down in about five minutes. We hope you had a comfortable journey and thank you for flying with us.” I am awoken by John; supposedly that’s his name, the captain’s deep voice. When the hell did I fall asleep?

Of course the next thing I do is check my phone, not because I think I have messages, because I know I don’t, but I want to check the time. My phone lights up and shows my beautiful lock screen, it’s a picture of the beautiful Miss Hayley Williams, the time pops up along with it, 12:20 on the dot.

We finally land and people begin to filter out slowly. I wait a few minutes until I’m one of the last ones before I finally rise to retrieve my carry on. I walk off and out into the gate and head to baggage claim. On my way I send my mum a text letting her know I’ve landed. It only takes a few minutes before the phone vibrates in my hand.

 **_Life giver:_ ** _On my way already :) Can’t wait to see you!_

 **_Life giver:_ ** _Expect loads of hugs and kisses too darling ;)_

I smile as soon as I read it and feel the butterflies flutter in my stomach. I quickly reply before reaching my destination.

 **_Ashton:_ ** _So excited!_

I send knowing it’s not excitement in my stomach but nervousness, tons and tons of nervousness. I wait until my bags come around the spinny-go-round thingy and drag them behind me heading towards the exit. The doors open as I take a seat on the long bench that runs all the way down the wall. I feel my phone vibrate once more.

 **_Life giver:_ ** _Pulling into the terminal now. How far down are you?_

 **_Ashton:_ ** _All the way down...sorry_

I reply quickly not looking up just staring down at the phone in my shaking hands. I hear a car getting closer and closer as it pulls to the curb, slows and finally comes to a stop. The butterflies in my stomach are gone by this time and it’s now turned into a circus performance. I hear the car door open and the sound of clicking heels making their way toward me on the pavement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? I know I'm not the best writer, like at all, but I really enjoy writing this. Also what do you think about doing the song lyrics at the beginning? I got the idea from @xAsh_Luke_Cal_Mikex and the fic Oreo. I really liked the idea so I thought I would try it out. It's hard to come with lyrics and songs though so I don't know if I'll be able to do it but I'll try. That's all I got, I hope you enjoyed it :) Much love babes xxxAshley


	3. These Days.

Morning seems strange, almost out of place.  
Searched hard for you and your special ways.  
These days, these days.

Spent all my time, learnt a killer's art.  
Took threats and abuse 'till I'd learned the part.  
Can you stay for these days?

-These Days by Joy Division

Friday, January 24, 2014  
Ashton’s POV:  
My jaw drops to the floor as I look up to the view of the beautiful the woman standing before me. Not to sound like some creep of any sort, just a son who loves his mum. She was absolutely stunning, even in joggers, a hoodie and sneakers with her hair up and no make-up, she blew me away.  
We exchange the typical I love you and I’ve missed you messages before packing my bags into the back and heading out. I take seat on the passenger side and buckle in as we speed out and onto the highway.  
“It’s so great to see you, like in person and not through a phone screen.” I mumble staring directly down at my twiddling thumbs in my lap. The thoughts run through my head, what if she thinks I’m boring, or lame for missing her.  
“It’s great to see you too, we’ve all missed you, Lauren and Harry included.” She says keeping her eyes focused on the road. “You know they’re very excited to meet you. Harry was up at five thirty because he just couldn’t sleep, I’m sure he was up last night as well.” She adds giggling. So that’s where I get it, the girly squealing called my laugh.  
“I’m excited to meet them. Maybe they could show me around a little.” I say looking up at her nervous of how she might respond.  
“Of course, I think that’d be a great time for you three to get to know each other and bond. Is there any kind of store in particular?” She asks smiling as if the thought of us kids together is something that never would’ve happened.  
“A movie shop. Possibly one that has classics and newer releases.” I say. “If that’s possible.” I mutter under my breath embarrassed of what her response might be.  
“Of course, you know there’s an amazing shop in the mall that I think you might like. They have a whole bunch of movies and even some music and video games. It’s actually one of the Harrys favorite stores.” She says smiling over to me stopping and parking the car on the driveway.  
I step out and shut the door staring at the house before me. It’s not a mansion just big enough for the three of them, well four now. I retrieve my bags from the back and carry them in. The door opens up to a narrow hallway with a thin staircase along the left wall, two archways on the right wall and a door at the end.  
“Oh your room will be up the stairs and the one directly ahead.” My mum points up carrying her bags into the far entryway.  
I make my way up the stairs and open the door leading to my new room. It’s fairly empty with the exceptional twin bed, four drawer dresser and bookshelf in the corner. There’s not much on the plain white walls either besides a black and white round clock by the door and some baby pictures atop the dresser.  
I toss my bags on the bed and unzip them one by one dumping out all the contents in a big pile. I separate the clothing into five piles; pants, shirts, sweatshirts, socks and underwear. First I throw all my underwear into the top left hand drawer followed by the socks into the drawer beside it. Next is pants, I fold the numerous pairs of black skinny jeans and place them into the bottom left hand drawer. I decide to separate my sweatpants from my jeans and let them take the last drawer available. I grab the hangers from the closet and drop them to the floor and take a seat. One by one I hang the shirts on the hangers and pile them up. When I finish I hang them up followed by the sweatshirts. I lastly just throw my few pairs of shoes on the floor, including the black converse I was wearing, and shut the door.  
I stuff the empty bags under the bed and plop down onto the neatly made bed pulling out my phone. I unlock it and check the time, 1:00. I slide the phone back into my pocket and head downstairs. I check the first room, the family room, then continue down the hallway, the kitchen and dining area. “Hey Anne Mar-“ I stop myself before continuing. “Mum,” Way to go already fucking up and you haven’t nearly been with her for an hour.  
“In here, honey!” I hear her yelp behind the shut door at the end of the hall. I pause before I turn the knob and slip in only to find her lying on her bed watching the telly. “What’s up love?” She asks muting the television.  
“Well I was uh, just wondering what time the two shit heads-“ Good one Ash you’re messing this all up. I take a seat on the edge and continue on. “Fuck, sorry, oh god, uh, I meant children. What time will the children be home?” I finish asking as a smile widens across her face and she lets of the lightest giggle. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“  
“Ash, it’s okay. We’ve all heard the words before, including the two shit heads and myself. Swearing is nothing new in this household. I’ll leave to go get them around 1:45; you’re welcome to come if you want.” She laughs patting my shoulder in reassurance. I let out a laugh of relief and look up to her. “You’re fine Ash, nothing’s going to happen; nothing like at your fathers.” So does that mean she knows, like what happened to me, and my past?  
“Hey An-Mum, could I ask you a question?” I speak in a bothered sort of tone.  
“Of course Ashton, anything you want to know, I’ll give you an answer.” She says relaxing sitting back.  
“How much do you know? Like of what happened and what he did; and also about me? What all did they tell you?” I ask worriedly as my eyes glaze over with tears ready to be shed.  
“Enough, Ashton; Enough to know that we need to be grateful for every moment we have with you.” She keeps her head down before continuing. “I know what he did, what you suffer from, your habits, kind of anything you probably wouldn’t want me to know.”  
“So you know about my, uh…” I drift off scared to continue.  
“Yes Ashton I know about your eating, body consciousness, self-harm all that stuff.” She stops looking up at me, the teary eyed boy with waterworks now flowing down his face. “Ash it’s okay, don’t cry.” She pulls me into her lap and hugs me blabbing on ensuring me everything is going to be better.  
“Oh mum, I was wondering if maybe I could hang a few posters up, I don’t really care for the walls being as plain as they are.” I ask sitting back with my emotions under control.  
“Of course babe, anything you’d like.” She says. “Well, maybe not anything, anything appropriate is okay. No naked girls or anything.” She smirks letting out a quiet laugh. I join along and rise from the bed.  
“I think I’m going to go watch some T.V. if that’s okay. Maybe get a few Z’s in.” I declare stepping back slowly edging nearer to the exit.  
“Sounds good. I’ll just wake you up when it’s time to go if need be.” She replies flicking her eyes between me and the now unmuted television. I leave hastily, closing the door shut behind me waiting for the click of assurance.  
I flop down onto the white sofa fishing my phone from my back pocket setting it on the table and snatching the remote. I put on MTV where some stupid teen mom show plays. I ignore the southern drama queens and the baby’s cries closing my eyes hoping for peace.  
***  
“Hey Ash, we’re going to be leaving in about five minutes, it’s time to get ready.” A muffled woman’s voice says nudging my shoulder. I only grunt back opening my eyes to the beautiful woman squatting beside me. “Hi honey, about time to leave. Better start waking up.” I moan in confusion forgetting where I was for a split second and rub my eyes free of tiredness.  
She leaves the room as I sit and stretch. I grab my phone from the table clicking the button allowing the screen to light up. There she is; the one and only, Miss beautiful Hayley Williams. The time layers over the top with the time. 1:42, just as expected. I rise and hustle up the stairs into my room. I slide open the closet doors and crouch down looking at the mess of shoes. I quickly line them up in a line, curse you OCD, and slip on the same old converse from before.  
“Ashton! We got to go!” Anne’s voice screams from the bottom of the stairs where she stands with the door swung open. I don’t reply, just shut the doors, snatch my wallet from my bed and slip it into my back pocket jogging down the stairs out the door right past her. She follows behind unlocking the car allowing me access. I hop up into the passenger seat and get buckled before she even opens her door.  
“Well, somebodies just a tad excited.” She laughs getting comfortable in her seat.  
“Is it obvious?” I say as the, what I thought, small smirk soon turns into a big grin filled with the five-year giggles.   
“Just a little bit.” She remarks as the engine roars and we take off down the road. “You can try to find an album if you want. There’s a whole bunch in the glove-box.” I follow as instructed, well not exactly but you feel me, and grab out a DVD case. I unzip it and flick through the cd’s; Eminem’s Curtain Call, My Chemical Romance’s The Black Parade, P!nk’s Funhouse, Bowling for Soup’s A Hangover You Don’t Deserve and then I hit the jackpot. There before me is my one true love; Joy Division and the best album, Unknown Pleasures. I slip it out and into the CD player hitting the play button waiting for Disorder to play the first few cords. “Wow, Joy Division, didn’t know kids still listened to this kind of thing. Thought they went out of style awhile back. I suspect you fancy them?”  
“Of course; they never went out of style! Just quite making music is all. I love them.” I exclaim turning toward her excitement noticeable in my voice.  
“Well that’s good to know. Ian Curtis always was one of my big crushes.” She laughs rolling down all the windows. “You don’t mind do you?”  
“Not at all.” I reply turning up the music drowning out the sounds of the outside world.  
Neither of us says anything the rest of the way. We just sit and drive letting the lyrics flow and music take us away. We pull into the school parking lot searching for a spot. We finally find a spot and park as she turns the harmony off and rolls the windows back up.  
“Are you ready for this?” She asks pulling the keys out of ignition purse in hand.  
“It’s now or never.” I fake a smile out of nervousness hoping she doesn’t notice.  
“Let’s go.” She nods her head, opens her door and just like that we head towards the front doors of the primary school. We walk in to the open concept with benches lined along the exposed brick walls. We take a seat near the office and wait. “We’re a bit early but that’s okay, only by ten or so minutes.”  
After the ten minutes slowly pass the final bell sounds and the mad rush of students filter through the classroom doors into the hallway.  
“Do they know I’m here?” I ask anxiety now rushing through my veins. “As in picking them up from class?”  
“Well, no, not exactly. All they know is you’re coming home today.” She smiles. “We may have a few crying kids on our hands.”  
“Oh fun.” I chuckle looking around at the groups of kids. And then I spot her, Lauren. She just turned the corner when her eyes widened in shock.  
“Ashton!” She cries running towards me with no hesitation. I spread my arms out and her body collides with mine. I wrap my arms around her lifting her up twirling around. I set her back down and continue our hug as I feel her break down. Not just the crying type of break down but the physically kind of break down, like everything she ever had and loved was taken, although it was just the opposite.  
“Ash!” Another voice shouts in excitement from down the hall. Lauren and I pull away, both wiping the tears from our eyes. By this time we probably caused a huge attraction but continue on with our festivities as Harry runs nearer. I lean down and open my arms, as I did Lauren, and take him into an embrace. “You’re here!” He exclaims as if he never knew the plans.  
“Of course I am.” I say pulling away staying at eye level. “Why would I not come see you two idiots?” I joke rising ruffling his hair. “C’mon, what do you say about heading to the mall?” I ask looking between my siblings. “Maybe too get some new games and movies?”  
“At Marvin’s?” Harry asks showing interest in my question.  
“Certainly, where else would we go?” I snicker wrapping my arm around his shoulder. “Now let’s go before it’s too late.” I say taking Lauren hand in hand.  
***   
The car ride is filled with a whole lot of jokes and laughter, along with the occasional ‘Ashton Fletcher Irwin, that’s not appropriate!’ from my mother. We pull into the parking ramp and find a spot before heading into the crowded human filled mall.  
“I’m going to head to my stores. Text or call me if you need anything.” Anne says leaving kisses atop the two little ones heads and my cheek. “Love you three.” She smiles and with that walks away.  
“Now I don’t know my way around so I need a bit of help here from you two.” I laugh looking down at the faces peering up at me.  
“Just follow him!” Lauren says as Harry takes my hand pulling me to the escalator with Lauren following close behind. “So Ash, that’s the food court, pretty obvious.” She says pointing down to the very bottom floor where fast food joints are lining the walls. “That floor is mainly the kid and adult shops that nobody cares about.” She adds aiming to the floor at which we entered from. “And this, the third and top floor, is where you will always find yourself venturing around.” She laughs as we make our way towards the end of the malls corridor where we stop and stare up to the bright lights naming the title; Marvin’s Movies, Music and More.  
We walk in and I am taken aback at the amount of DVD’s, albums and video games they have. Vinyl’s line the left wall with aisles of CD’s in front of them sorted by genre and artist. To the right up front is the DVD section, sorted by year of release and genre within. The back wall straight ahead is lined with the video games with the checkout desk in the back right hand corner.  
“And this Ashton, is Marvin’s.” Lauren says heading into the movie aisles.  
“Otherwise known and referred to as heaven on earth.” Harry adds laughing taking my hand tugging me towards the back. “Which game should I get?”  
“Well what don’t you have that you want? That’s the real question.” I ask looking around to see if anybody is even working.  
“Good point.” He says as his face turns to a serious thought processing face. “What about Mario Cart?” He asks pulling the case off the shelf.  
“Anything you’d like, it’s on me.” I say down to him patting his back smiling through the tension filling me up. “I’m going to look at the albums.”  
I walk over to the ‘punk’ section and look through for a few in particular. I find Green Day’s album American Idiot and smile in satisfaction as I’m greeted by Harry with his game in hand.  
“Hey dude, you determined which one you’re getting?” I ask.  
“Yep I went with my gut and got Mario Cart.”  
“Good choice little guy. Now where our sister is, is the question.” I laugh as we walk over to the DVD’s looking up every aisle until we reach the back wall where we find Lauren sitting on the floor with a stack of movies in front of her. “What are you doing there Lauren?” I ask squatting down ahead of her and the pile.  
“Trying to figure out which one to get. It’s too hard of a choice.” She says spreading them out allowing me to scan over them. There’s a wide variety; Pitch Perfect, Mama, Rugrats in Paris, and best of all, School of Rock.  
“Wow, they’re all great movies.”  
“Exactly, now do you see my dilemma?” She says sighing looking up to me.  
“You know what, how about you get all four, there’s no need to choose. Harry, how about you get another game.” I say rising picking up all four dropping them atop my album.  
“C’mon let’s go choose another game and then head out.” I say as we walk to the back once again. “What about that new game that’s coming out? What is it, Destiny or something? I’ll preorder it for you if you’d like.”  
“Oh my gosh really?” Harry asks, hands covering his mouth in shock. “I love you so much Ashton!” He proclaims wrapping his small arms around my waist.  
“Ah fucking hell Lucas come and help me! Kill John! Kill John!” A voice comes from the back. “Stop pausing it! Luke come back I need your help!” The same irritated voice yells just as we set the basket on the counter.  
“Michael shut the fu-” Another, different, voice yells cutting itself off before I know why. “Uh, hi, I’m, uh, sorry.” A tall blonde boy mutters as his cheeks grow a shade of rosy pink. “Sorry, I didn’t, uh, realize we, I, had costumers.” He says embarrassed eyes locked on me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello earthlings, I'm back. Sorry it took forever to update. School has started once again which means I don't have as much time to write but I promise I'll try my hardest. I'm sorry this chapter may have been boring and rather shit, I'm 100% aware at how terrible it is. I'm really pumped for the next few though, as it actually involves Luke and Cal and Mikey and I'm just siked to finally get into the more fun parts. Please leave me a comment on what you thought, good and or bad, because it would really help me out. Tell me what I may or may not need to do because I need some feedback. Anyways hope you enjoyed it. Stay strong and I love you tons!! xxx


	4. Skin & Bones.

_**I lock the door** _   
_**Turn all the water on** _   
_**And bury that sound** _   
_**So no one hears anything anymore** _

**_-Skin & Bones by Marianas Trench_ **

_Friday, January 24, 2014_

_Luke’s POV:_

“Ah fucking hell Lucas come and help me!” Michael screams after I set my controller down and rise from the fold-up chair sat in front of the portable gaming PC screen sitting on the table. “Kill John! Kill John!” He continues screaming as I stretch. “Stop pausing it! Luke come back I need your help!”

“Michael shut the fu-” I say stepping out from the blackness into the bright lighting of the store. I stop dead in my tracks as I am greeted by three customers. I notice two of them, their Harry and Lauren Irwin, very familiar faces to the store, but one I didn’t know. He was fairly tall, probably around 190 centimeters just a few shorter than me, and his hair was hidden by a beanie only allowing his fringe to be seen. “Uh, hi, I’m, uh, sorry.” I mutter feeling my cheeks grow a bright shade of rosy pink. “Sorry, I didn’t, uh, realize we, I, had costumers.” I say attempting not breaking the stares being exchanged between myself and the boy before me. “Uh, sorry, did you find everything okay?”

“Uh,” The boy’s mouth opens as if ready to speak but no words flow out.

“Of course, you know us, we know our way around.” Lauren laughs. “Oh, Luke, this is our older brother Ashton. He just got here today from our dad’s.” She continues, wrapping her arm around the boy, Ashton’s waist.

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you Ashton. I’m Luke. It seems to me like you have a good taste in music.” I laugh ringing up the _American Idiot_ CD. “You like them?” I add on trying to resist the urge to stare at the shy boy now flushed red.

“I suppose you could say that. It’s nice to meet you too, Luke.” He doesn’t smile but smirks and grabs the bag full of items. “Thanks.” He says grasping the bag in one hand the other draped over Lauren’s shoulder.

“No problem, make sure to come back.” I mumble not nearly loud enough for anybody besides me to hear. I turn and head back into the room where Michael remains playing his game. “Oh my fucking god Michael you aren’t going to believe what I’m going to tell you.” I say taking a seat in the foldable chair I was in originally. “You know Harry and Lauren Irwin?”

“Yeah, uh huh, hold on one second.” He says continuing to shoot the enemy not taking his eyes off the bright screen in front of him that soon has blood splattered all over it. “God damn it Luke, look what you did now.” He says jokingly shutting the system down with the controller on top. “Okay shoot, what’s up?”

“So you know the two little Irwin kids right? They always come here after school and what not.” I explain myself again as he turns to face me.

“Yeah, what about them, did one of them die or something?”

“No seriously Michael. Get this though, they have an older brother!” I whisper shout in excitement trying not to make it too obvious.

“And…your point is?” He groans rolling his eyes at me.

“They have an older brother, Michael. And let me just tell you, that motherfucker is one hot piece of ass.”

“Oh is Luke lookin’ for a new fuck buddy?” He snorts knocking me with his boney elbow. “Tryin’ to hop on that dick!” He exclaims beginning to grind against the chair.

“Michael, stop. I swear to god if anybody else finds out. I’ll shove my foot so far up your ass my toes will come up your throat.” I threaten stopping him from proceeding with his lap dance.

“Oh please, who else is going to find out? You really think I’m that big of a cock?”

“Yes.”

“No, no, I said am one not has one. Know that for myself.”

“Mikey seriously, nobody else can know. For fuck sake you weren’t even supposed to find out!” I say in all seriousness.

“Well one doesn’t normally leave their doors unlocked with gay porn playing.” He says looking at me trying not to smile. “Which may I add was very loud and a bit disturbing.”

“I was home alone! Excuse me for taking my leisure time _alone_ to do something for myself.” I say trying to defend myself. “It’s not like I have psychic powers to warn me about those kinds of things!”

“I texted you like ten minutes before I got there. I literally warned you prior to arriving Luke.”

“Who pays attention to their phone when wanking? C’mon Michael, you of all people should understand that!” I exclaim. “Now, moving on, back to what I was trying to say. Ashton, the older brother of Lauren and Harry is hella good looking.”

“I got to see him. Where is he?” He asks looking around as if Ashton were standing behind me.

“Well gone now dumbass. He better come back.” I pronounce. “Just come with me for my next few shifts and chill in front with me to see if he comes.”

“Possibly, it depends.” Michael states. “Were we going to film a cover this weekend?” He asks fixing his fringe.

“I’m free anytime Sunday or else it’ll have to be next week.” I respond thinking over my plans. “And if Cal can’t we could always just do one.”

“True.”

 

_Ashton’s POV:_

The car ride home was definitely a fun one. The three of us, minus my mother, head banged to some Metallica and Bring Me the Horizon, made an air instrument band and rocked the fuck out.

Once we arrive home we rush into the living room, Laruen, Harry and I that is. Harry puts in the Mario Cart disc and distributes the controllers. Harry scrolls through the multiple venue choices and goes with the worst one possible, Rainbow Road.

“Is spaghetti alright for supper, guys?” Marie asks entering in the doorway. The three of us looked at each other breaking from the game. We nod in unison as the countdown begins for the race to the death.

“All good in the neighborhood!” Harry exclaims as he speeds off as the clock hits one.

***

After about nine or ten races Marie calls for dinner. We all walk into the kitchen one by one dishing up. I limit myself to only a few noodles, no butter, no sauce and no cheese. We all take our seats at the rectangle oak table; Lauren and Harry next to each other leaving Anne and me beside each other. We each take turns reaching in for a slice for garlic bread in the bread basket.

“Only eat as much as you can.” Mum whispers nudging elbows. I smile and nod picking up my utensils.

The rest of the meal is filled with conversations about the kid’s school day and what they did. We all finish and Harry and Lauren get back to gaming leaving Anne and me to clean up. She does the washing; I do the drying and putting away.

“Thank you.” She says finishing up handing the last dish over. “How was it?”

“No, no thank you. It was really good, I enjoyed it.” I smile, trying not to think about all of the calories I took in. “Well I’m going to go shower and then head to bed. Thank you again.” I say putting down the towel giving her a hug and kiss on the temple.

“If I don’t see you again, good night darling.” She voices nuzzling her head under my chin wrapping her arms around me. “I love you, sleep tight.” She says patting my butt sending me on my way.

Once I reach my room I grab a clean pair of Kelvins, some sweatpants and a pullover hoodie. I walk two doors down the hall into the toilet, shutting and locking the door behind me knowing what’s going to take place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful loves guys who's back. (Hint: it's me) I'm really sorry for taking forever just had writers block after writing Luke's part. I hope this was somewhat worth the wait, I really tried to make this one something that wouldn't dissapoint but I never really know. Please let me know what you thought and your opinions on this, I feel like I need some feedback. Also you could vote, but that's only if you'd like. Anyways I hope you enjoyed and it didn't bore you too much. I love you all so much babes! xxx


	5. That Feeling.

****_So show me what I've been looking for_  
I've done everything, opened every door  
Then what I thought I'd never find was staring in my eyes  
  
I'm like oh my god is this for real?

**_-That Feeling by We The Kings_ **

_Friday, January 24, 2014_

_Ashton’s POV:_

I turn the knobs on the sink letting the water flow through the faucet swiping my phone out from my pocket. I plug the phone into the I-Home and shuffle through my music. It takes only seconds for Weightless by All Time Low to play through the speaker. I turn the volume up to the highest setting possible kneeling down in front of the toilet bowl.

It’s only a few songs later as I finish my job off. I flush the results down, rinse my mouth with a swig of water and slip out of the rest of my clothes. I turn off the sink faucet and choose Silverchair as Emotion Sickness starts playing. I grab a clean towel from the cupboard and set it on the toilet lid where it will wait until I finish.

At first touch the water is hot against my body, seeping into the cuts on my upper forearm from last night causing a burning sensation.  _Fuck, why do I keep doing this to myself? I’m just causing even more pain on myself by showering. What a fucking dumbass._

***

I cut off the water and snatch a towel wrapping it around my body. By this time around the whole album has passed with Emotion Sickness now playing. After drying off and dressing I fix my hair, swooshing it that is. I turn off the fan and turn off the music grabbing my phone and dirty laundry opening the door heading back down into my bedroom.

I shut the door quietly behind me looking up at the clock, only nine thirty.  _Damn, I spent two hours in the shower? Jesus Christ._ I think to myself in ah that I was in there for so long. I guess you just kind of lose track of time in those kinds of situations; where you feel numb. Like you have no emotions and everything is just empty. That’s how I feel most of the time, empty and numb.

I throw the dirty laundry down into the closet corner and plop down into my bed. I unlock my phone opening Tumblr; I immediately go to my profile to check my messages. As the page refreshes there’s a light knock and the door creaks open. Marie’s head pops around the corner.

“Sorry I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.” She proclaims taking steps closer taking a seat on the foot of the bed.

“Oh, no it’s fine. I’m just checking something.” I say locking my phone setting it down beside me. “What do you need?”

“Was just going to say good night, tell you I love you, the typical motherly things.” She laughs patting my back. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Want the light off?” I nod and the room becomes black.

Once she leaves I make no hesitation to go back to Tumblr. I have two new messages; two anonymous. I read the first and already know it’s from a friend.  _Ashbash! This is going to be weird but I miss you! Hope you’re doing okay with your mom and siblings. I love you! –Constant anon_

I move to the next from somebody random.  _Hey Ashton, I know today was a big day and I hope you’re doing well. If it helps at all I love you. I’ve been three days clean, let’s do this together._  I reply to both quickly closing the app locking my phone. I set it on the bedside table and crawl under the covers.

As soon as my head hits the pillow thoughts begin soaring through my mind.  _What did the kids think about me? Did I live up to their expectations? Will I be a good older brother from now on? What did Anne think? Does she think I’m weird? Or messed up?_  I try and ignore them for the most part and luckily fall asleep fairly quickly. Probably only due to the fact I’m exhausted from the long day of traveling, shopping and family time.

***

_Monday, January 27, 2014_

_Ashton’s POV:_

I awaken to a sunlit room with the house dead silent; or so it seems. Just a few seconds later I can hear Lauren and Harry down the stairs playing the Wii, probably Mario Kart. That’s all we’ve played all weekend. We almost beat it, only a few Grand Prix’s left.

I stretch and sit up resting on my elbow. I grab my phone and check the time, 7:13. A time no other humans are awake, unless they have work or in my case hell; otherwise known as school.

I rise and shuffle over to the dresser. I grab a pair of black skinny jeans, like I always wear; a clean pair of underwear, some plain black socks and a Drop Dead sweater. I pile it all up and carry myself to the bathroom. I flick the switch and quickly hop in knowing I don’t have much time to mess around.

After finishing I check my time. It’s 7:27 and I still have twenty minutes to spare. I clothe and spray some cologne opening the door, snatching my phone running down the stairs.

“Hey kiddo!” I exclaim ruffling Harry’s hair as he begins a race at Peach Gardens for the Special Cup grand prix. He makes no sound just keeps his eyes on the screen. I walk through into the kitchen where I find Lauren and Marie sat at the table with a plate of eggs and bacon in front of them. There is an empty seat across mum and another right beside.

“Good morning Ash, I,” Laruen cuts Marie off. “we,” Lauren says, then lets Anne continue. “decided to make a big first day of school breakfast.”

“Wow, thank you.” I reply in surprise that this is typical. I take my seat beside Lauren and begin to chow down. It’s weird ever since I’ve gotten here I haven’t had much problem eating, especially in front of others.

After I finish there’s just about ten minutes left for me to get to school. I rinse my plate and put it in the dishwasher before giving Marie a kiss atop her head and walk to the front door. I grab my black vans from the shoe pile and slip them on, slinging my bag over my shoulder in the process.

“I’ll see you tonight, got to go!” I yell just as the door closes and I hop down the steps. I grab my phone and untangle my earbuds as I start down the street. I plug in and put my Spotify playlist on shuffle with Simple Plan beginning to play.

The walk to school was short and seemed that only after five steps I was hauling myself down the hill into the courtyard. Students are spread around; some at the picnic tables others beneath the trees. I shuffle my way through and into the main office. There are two secretaries, both helping students, so I decide to take a seat.

“Can I help you?” The older woman asks. She has grey shoulder length hair that’s ratty and knotted with big clear round glasses, like you’d see in an old ‘80’s film.

“Uh, yeah, I just need to get my schedule.” I say rising leaning against the desk.

“Last name?” She demands.

“Hendri-Irwin.”  _Fuck._ “Irwin, sorry.” She clicks away at the keys on the keyboard.

“Ah yes, Ashton?” I nod and the printer beeps. She grabs the sheet and slides it across the desk. “So you have first, second, third and fourth period until 11:55, times for each class are here,” She circles the times printed beside each class hour. “Then you’ll have lunch until 12:25, head to your fifth hour and finish off the day. Any questions?” Her voice is monotone with no expressions shown on her face.

“Nope, thank you.” I smile looking down grabbing it. “Do you have a map I could have?” I ask realizing I have no clue where the hell I’m going. She lets out a deep sigh and grabs one from a filing cabinet. “Thanks.” I mumble walking out hastily.

I hurry into the bathroom down the hall. I step into a stall, slamming the toilet seat shut, set my bag down on the floor and take a look at the piece of paper checking my schedule.

Ashton Irwin    Year: 12

I think it’s funny how I’m eighteen and although I should be graduated and attending uni, I’m still only in year 12. And it’s all thanks to my parents who held me a year behind.

8:00-9:25 | Period One: Mathematics | Johnson, Lucinda | 214

9:30-10:15 | Period Two: Chemistry | Hand, Kyle | 201

10:20-11:05 | Period Three: General Gym | Herth, Jonah | Gym A

11:10-11:55 | Period Four: Aqua Ecology | Bergh, Mitchel | 138

Lunch 12:00-12:25

12:30-1:15 | Period Five: Child Development | Voss, Mary | 108

1:20-2:05 | Period Six: Honors Speech | Hearing, Leslie | 127

2:10-2:55 | Period Seven: Music Production | Jenkins, Keith | 145

The five minute bell rings as I pick up bag, look at the map and head to my first hour, Maths, which lucky for me, is on the second floor.

***

The morning classes go smoothly; I find my way between and keep to myself for the duration of class and soon enough the lunch bell rings. I maneuver through the halls just fine finding my way to the cafeteria.

It’s nice and open with tall vaulted ceilings and floor to ceiling windows lining the far wall and the lunch opposite. Tables are scattered around the room quickly filling with peers. I find an empty table near the window and seat myself so I face the room.

The tables are as you expect in high school, each filled and organized by cliques. Near the entrance is the geeky, sci-fi, anime lovers who like to read and study in their free time. In the middle are the jocks, cheerleaders, dancers etc. Then the tables surrounding me, kids who are social casualties and outcasts within the school.

Lunch passes slowly but surely and the bell rings releasing everyone at once. I wait a bit until it clears and head towards Child Development.

I walk into the brightly painted classroom that looks much more like a preschool classroom. The tables are lined in rows of four with two at each. In the back are a bunch of toys, a railroad table, dolls, dollhouses, dinosaurs everything a little kid would want.

I look around deciding where I should sit and decide near the wall in the back. The room fills gradually and the minute warning bell rings.  _Good another class I don’t know anybody in._  I think to myself in relief.

The minute passes and the door opens, revealing the last three students in this class. They walk in formed in a line. The one on the right is tall and has faded green hair spiked up and is very pale, he’s wearing an American Idiot t-shirt with black skinny jeans. The one in the middle is slightly shorter than the green haired boy and has dark brown hair, is very tan and wearing a plain black loose tee with jeans almost identical to green head. The last boy on the left is wearing a Good Charlotte tee with skinny jeans matching the others. My eyes start wondering up his very tall, rather lanky body and I notice his face, eyes looking dead in mine.  _Fuck, that’s Luke._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello beauties! I'm so sorry that it's been so long, I had major writers block but I think I've bounced back! Thank god! Anyways I kinda really like this song so I decided to make a chapter for it. I also really love this chapter, probably because it's where everything is going to get interesting, but I really hope you do as well. Please let me know what you think and what you want to see down in the comments. Also maybe show your love for it by voting, only if you'd like. It truly means a lot. I love you all! xxx


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